Please excuse me while I pout…

February 9, 2010 at 7:41 am (Random rantings)

When you grow up in a small town like I did, there are people you went to school with from day one.  Some of these friends have been a part of my life since I was three.  Through junior high and high school, I kind of faded away from them, mostly because I went to a different school for two years (or so I’d like to think).  We all went to the same high school, but it was never the same.  Over the last couple of years, we’ve reconnected on Facebook.  But, true to the story of my life, I’m still the outsider.  Around Thanksgiving, I suggested that we all try to get together during the holidays as one of the girls would be in town for a while.  I got shot down on all sides.  Most of them just didn’t respond to my suggestion and those that did said they would be just too busy.  I know everybody is generally busy around the holidays, but I was hoping that some of us could carve out a little time together.

I was looking at one of the girls’ Facebook pages tonight.  Go figure, they all got together over the holidays and couldn’t even throw me a pity invite.  I guess it just reminds me how few friends I really have.  Even as a kid, I never had many friends.  In high school, I just loved spending every Friday and Saturday night at work or hanging out at home with my parents.  My senior prom landed on my 18th birthday.  I didn’t go.  I couldn’t get a date and the few friends I had all had dates.  I didn’t want to be anybody’s third wheel.  My parents were amazing and took me to the ballet instead, but I was so embarrassed to be in the same city where prom was held just in case we ran into anybody from my school.

I dunno, I guess it just kind of sucks to not have many real friends.  I know it’s morbid and random to think about, but if I died today, who would even show up to my funeral?  I’m sure my family would be there and my one good friend, but that’s probably it.  Well, I guess they’d save a lot of money since they could use a small facility and certainly wouldn’t need to buy much food for the reception.

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