Stressing out already…

March 17, 2010 at 6:09 am (Baby making, Junior)

I just had my IUD taken out yesterday and the thought of having another baby is starting to stress me out already.  Mostly because I’m not sure how my family will take the news that we’re TTC.  I’ve decided not to tell anyone.  Nobody in real life even knows that I had the IUD taken out.  We may not be rich, but we both have stable jobs, limited debt and pay all of our bills on time.  It’s not like we’re flat broke, but money is somewhat tight.  To us, it’s worth it to give Junior a sibling even if that means we might be spread a little thin at times.  My mom told me years ago, “there’s no perfect time to have a baby; you’re never 100% ready”.  I feel like that’s exactly the case.  Sure, maybe we could wait another year, but who’s to say that our financial position will change in that time.  Then what have we gained?

When I got pregnant with Junior, things seemed fine.  Hubs’ job was great, I was working and going to school, and everything looked great.  Then the economy tanked.  Hubs’ job with a lumber company was strained and eventually he was laid off.  It just goes to show that a lot can change for better or worse.  There might always be a reason to wait another year.  I want Junior to have a sibling he can be close to, that he can have things in common with, that he can be friends with.  When I look at Hubs’ side of the family, where the closest sibling set has a 7 year age gap, I see the older child being an extra set of hands to raise the younger sibling and that’s not what I want.

Right now, my parents each watch Junior one day a week for 2-3 hours while Hubs and I work.  They offered to do it and tell me how much they enjoy spending time with him, but they complain about it.  They act like we don’t appreciate it, even though we thank them constantly.  When I was growing up, they both worked full time and my brother and I were in daycare.  We could probably work out a schedule like that now, but I’d rather see Junior being cared for by family than strangers if we can help it.  I think my parents see it as a flaw in our financial picture rather than a choice that we’ve made.

For once, I’d just like to feel like my family is happy with my choices.  I’d like my mom to tell me she’s proud of the family I have.  My brother and his wife were quite strapped when they got pregnant with their second child, yet my mom literally leaped off the ground when she found out.  When I told her I was pregnant with Junior, her response: “What did you do?”  Hubs and I have a great relationship and he’s an amazing dad.  We may not be rich, but Junior and any future children we have will have great lives in our home.


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