What not to say to a pregnant woman – round 2

July 27, 2010 at 4:52 am (Uncategorized)

Here’s one I don’t think most people think about unless they’re pregnant or ever have been.

Don’t comment on the size of a pregnant woman’s belly.  You can’t win.

I know this sounds a little strange, but trust me.  Pregnant women are full of raging hormones which can cause the simplest statement to be viewed in the most hurtful way.  The moment a woman finds out she’s preggo, her life is generally consumed with making sure she’s doing the best she can for her baby.

Tell her how cute and tiny her belly is and she’s going to think you’re telling her that her belly and baby are too small.  Which, of course, means you’re implying that she’s not nourishing her baby properly, or that you’re saying her baby is not growing normally.

Equally as bad, pointing out how big her belly is or how soon she’s showing.  Is it twins?  Is Mom eating too much?  Maybe Mom isn’t putting her baby’s health first and is gaining too much weight.  Clearly, you’re suggesting that she looks like she’s at risk for gestational diabetes, which means that her baby will be too big for the birth she has planned down to every detail.

Like I said, I really don’t think that men, or women who have never been pregnant would really think twice about these comments, but a pregnant woman will find any reason to worry.  Don’t be the one who gives her an extra reason to freak out.

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Yesterday’s appointment

July 21, 2010 at 5:29 pm (Deuce)

I had my u/s (ultrasound) for dating yesterday. Because my dr’s office sees a fair number of high-risk patients, it’s their policy to do a quick u/s (done by the nurse) at every appt for the heartbeat. Anyway, last week, the nurse seemed to really be looking for something then commented that she “thought” there was only one baby.

Fast forward to yesterday, the ultrasound tech (who works in the office two days a week) tells me that the nurse had made a comment in my file to look for twins. The tech said she only saw one, but because the baby only measured 7w3d (I knew I O’d late, but the nurse didn’t listen to me) rather than the 8w3d I “should” have been, there could still be a surprise later. She said it can be hard to tell really early on, because one can hide behind the other.

They scheduled the NT screening for 5 weeks from now. I wanted to cancel it, because I’m really not that interested in having the test done, but at the same time, I’m really curious. I always thought having twins would be great, but I’m kind of freaking out now.  Hubs is totally cool with it. His response was “cool, we can use both of the names we like” because he’s convinced it would be two boys.

Whatever will be, will be. I’m 95% sure it’s just one baby, but now that two different people have commented that maybe there is two in there, my mind is running. It didn’t ease my mind talking to a friend with twins who didn’t know she was having twins until her 20w u/s.

In other news, the new EDD is pretty much what I expected it to be, which is March 5th. I didn’t get a BFP until CD32, so I fully expected it to get pushed back 5-7 days. Deuce’s HR was 146.

And Junior cracks me up.  He has come with me to both of my appointments.  At the first, he was just getting over a cold and had had a fever a few days before, so he kept asking if I was sick.  He relates being sick to having a fever, so he wanted to know if I had a fever.  Yesterday, my friend kept him busy in the waiting room while I had my u/s.  When I came out and showed him the picture he said “that Mommy’s fever?”  He’s so freaking cute.

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Things they don’t tell you…

July 21, 2010 at 5:39 am (Random rantings)

There’s lots of things about pregnancy that NOBODY mentions… until you’re knocked up.  But I’ll tell you, because I have no shame like that.  Let’s start with a really fun one.  Constipation.  If pregnancy doesn’t back you up, the prenatal vitamins probably will.  Luckily now, you can get prenatals with stool softeners.  A great choice if you ask me.

Exhaustion and insomnia.  Besides the fact you’ll be more tired than you’ve ever been, there will be nights that you just can’t sleep.  I hate those nights.  The nights you’re falling asleep on the couch then you crawl in bed looking forward to a great night’s sleep.  Nothing.  You watch the clock tick.  I wish I had an answer for this one and I just don’t.  I’ve tried tons of things and haven’t figured it out.

Excessive trips to the bathroom.  You hear about it, but you have no idea.  I’ve never been one to wake up in the middle night to pee, but I don’t think I’ve slept solidly since I got my BFP.  And I always need to go at the most inconvenient times throughout the day.  Can someone please explain to my bladder that needing to run to the bathroom 84 times a day is really not fun?

I’m sure there’s a million things coming up in the next few months that will be just as much fun, but hopefully it will be just like my pregnancy with Junior.  When all is said and done, I’ll have one heck of a cute kid and I’ll forget about all the annoying things I went through to get there.

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There it is…

July 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm (Deuce)

Morning sickness is kicking my butt right now.  I never really had any with Junior but this kid is wreaking havoc on my stomach.  According to my doctor, that means it’s another boy.  He said that subsequent children with stronger symptoms usually means the same gender.  He also said that it’s just a fun thing he likes to do to guess, so we’ll see.  It didn’t hit until yesterday and I’m hoping it goes away just as quickly as it started.  I’m so not enjoying feeling like poo.

I had my first prenatal appointment on Monday.  The doctor I’m seeing this time is VBAC friendly.  He said I’m a good candidate for VBAC, but his concern will be the baby’s size.  Junior was 8 lbs 6 oz and he was born at 38 weeks.  He would have been pushing 9.5 if he’d gone to a full 40 weeks.  He said that as long as Deuce and I look good, he’ll let us shoot for the VBAC, but if they think he/she is going to be over 9 pounds, they’ll “suggest” that I consider another c-section.  I guess that’s mostly positive.  I think I’ll want to have a more detailed list of questions for my next appointment to be sure that this office is the right fit for us.

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Things not to say to a pregnant woman…

July 12, 2010 at 4:19 am (Random rantings)

I’m sure there will be multiple installments of this over the coming months, but one thing is already driving me nuts.

Don’t EVER ask a woman if her pregnancy was an ACCIDENT!

I’ve already had this asked of me a couple times, I’ve heard other moms asked this in the past, and I was asked this countless times when I was pregnant with Junior.  What is that all about?  What gives random people the right to question the circumstances of a child’s conception?

“Wow, was that planned?”  “Was it planned or an accident?”  “Were you guys trying?”  “Are congratulations in order?”  “Should I say congrats or Oh, S**T?”  Yeah, those are all real examples.  The last was from an uber-religious guy I was in culinary school with when I found out I was expecting Junior.

Junior was a surprise, not an accident.  There’s a BIG difference.  Misplacing twenty bucks: Accident.  Finding it in your pocket a week later: Surprise.  Going on a date with a total jerk: Accident.  Meeting the man of your dreams: Surprise.  Crashing your car: Accident.  Winning the lottery: Surprise.

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New and different…

July 6, 2010 at 4:13 pm (Deuce, Family, Junior)

With my last pregnancy, my mom was not all that supportive.  In fact, her first words when I told her I was pregnant were “what did you do?”; if that doesn’t scream support, I don’t know what does.  Needless to say, I was a little nervous to announce Deuce.  Last Wednesday, on the way to her house, I picked up a “big brother” shirt for Junior.  When we got there, I handed my mom the bag and told her I’d picked up a shirt for him that I thought she’s like.  I actually walked out of the room while she opened it.  I was afraid of the same reaction again.  She seemed pretty happy about it and really not surprised at all.  I think she pretty well expected that we wanted another baby.

She’s been pretty supportive since then, even just simple things like asking how I’m feeling really means a lot.  I invited her to come to my first appointment with me next Monday.  I think she’s planning to be there.  As close as my mom and I are, it means so much to me to actually have her support this time.

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Getting Junior ready…

July 6, 2010 at 1:03 am (Deuce, Junior)

Now that we know there’s a new baby on the way, I’m not sure how to express it to Junior.  We talk about babies and when we see one, I tell him there’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy.  I know it’s still super early, I just want him to have as much time as possible to adjust to the idea.  Maybe this will all make more sense to him when I’m actually showing (although, I could try to pass off the spare tire as a baby bump… he wouldn’t know, right?).  Maybe we should look for some books about becoming a big brother or something.  He’s generally pretty easy going, but he’s also very close to Hubs and I.  I’m pretty torn as to whether I think he’s going to adjust easily or really have trouble with the changes.

My other big debate is what to do with their rooms.  Right now, Junior has the larger of the two extra bedrooms (besides the master).  It’s not that much bigger, and the closet is a little larger.  The smaller room still has a good sized closet, but it also has two large built in cupboards (one above the other, floor to ceiling).  They’re narrowish (like 20-24 inches wide probably) and about 3 ft deep.  I think they’d be great for stashing Junior’s toys in, but I don’t know what else they’d be good for as they’re kind of an awkward shape.

I could paint and decorate the smaller room and put a twin bed in there.  When it’s all ready, we could make a big deal about Junior’s new Big Boy room.  Or, we could keep him in the same room and just switch out the crib/toddler bed for his new twin bed.  I’m just not sure.  I want to make the transition early so he doesn’t associate the change with Deuce too much or feel like Deuce is taking away anything from him.  For his room, there will be his bed and his play kitchen (his dresser is stashed in the closet since there’s hardly anything hanging).  Deuce’s room will have a crib, changing table and rocking chair (the dresser will also be in the closet for him/her too).  All of those things can fit in the smaller room, but it might be a bit of a squeeze.

What do you think?  Should we try the “Big Boy Room” route or keep him in the same room?

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Getting excited…

July 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm (Deuce)

It’s finally setting in that I’m pregnant.  I’m really starting to get excited about it.  I’ve been putting together a registry (I know, I’m crazy!) and dreaming about all the things I want to buy.  What I’m actually really excited about this time is cloth diapering.  I started getting into cloth when Junior was about a year old.  Hubs was a Stay-At-Home-Dad at the time (ie. unemployed) and he hated dealing with the cloth, so we bagged it.  Now that Junior is almost completely out of diapers, I think I’m going to give up on cloth for him, but I can’t wait to see the new baby in fluff!  It’s a little overwhelming figuring out what I want, etc.  Prefolds, all-in-ones, covers, snappis?  I think I want to just start with prefolds with covers until we can get a chance to figure out what fits best on this baby.  Then again, I may just go crazy and buy a million things right off the bat!

Those of you who have or are currently CDing, what’s your advice?  Particularly, those who have CD’ed newborns, what helped you the most?  And what products did you like best?

Oh, and by the way, I’ve already dubbed this baby with a nickname… here on out, the peanut will be known as “Deuce” (as in, the second child).

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Holy Lines!

July 1, 2010 at 5:30 pm (Baby making)

It’s official!  I’m knocked up!  Ok, so I’ve known for over a week, but I figured I should probably tell a few people in real life before I blabbed the news to the whole world.  I was so sure I was out for this month.  I tested on Sunday the 20th (CD 30) and it was stark white.  I started getting some cramps that night and I was sure AF was on her way.  That Tuesday, she hadn’t shown up yet, so I decided to test again.  BFP!  I was so mentally unprepared for it.

I used a due date calculator and figured out that with my due date could be as early as 2/28, if it was a 31 day cycle, but since I didn’t even get a BFP until CD32, I think my due date will probably get pushed back once I see the doctor.  So there you go, that’s the news!  I’m preggo!

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