The battle for Mommyland

June 20, 2011 at 10:50 pm (Uncategorized)

I’ve heard for years of the mama-drama some women endure.  I mostly just ignored it.  I figured I’m pretty low drama, so I won’t attract drama, right?  Nope.

When Junior was about a year old, I joined a local moms’ group.  I needed to connect with other moms.  Junior needed to play with other kids.  I met a few really nice women, but didn’t have time to keep up with the group.  A year later, I rejoined and met even more lovely ladies.  Once in a while, I’d hear mention of drama between group members and I’d try to say something along the lines of “So-and-so has always been nice to me and I have no reason to get in the middle.” and just drop it.  A few ladies I thought highly of left the group.  I was sad to see them go, but found a place for myself.

As the group started having less playdates, I looked up another local group and realized that it was made up mostly of people I missed from the first group.  So I did something almost unheard of in Mommyland, I joined a second group.  I had friends on both sides, but no beef with anyone so I figured it was the best of both worlds.  Twice as many playdates to choose from, twice as many girls-nights-out.  Perfect.

I was warned that some members of group #1 may not be happy if they saw I joined group #2.  I mentally prepared myself for that.  Months went by and nothing.  I thought my drama-free stance had worked.  Wrong again.  I just realized this morning that one of the leaders of group #1 blocked me completely on Facebook.  She didn’t just unfriend me, according to Facebook, she doesn’t exist to me.  I know it seems silly to be upset about this, and it’s not the loss of one person that has me perturbed, it’s the whole concept of these Mommy Wars.  As moms we spend so much of our time defending our choices, our parenting, our kids, our friends.  I’ve never had so much a cross words with this woman.  I considered her a friend.  She watched Junior for a few hours for me once.  Now that she knows I’m friends with moms she doesn’t like, I’m not allowed to know she exists.  Now I’m just waiting to be told that I’m not welcome in group #1.  I have a feeling that’s what’s coming next and I’ve met a lot of women I would really miss in that group.  All because I was looking for more playdates.  Shame on me I guess.

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